


i go blind

by asofthesea



Category: Captain Marvel (2019), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Love Confessions, One Shot, Post-Canon, Yes that is correct, loosely based off of the song by the same title by hootie and the blowfish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 14:13:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18367646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asofthesea/pseuds/asofthesea
Summary: Carol has to spend some time off in space being a hero, this Maria understands.Carol wants to spend all of her time off in space being a hero, this Maria does not understand.





	i go blind

Carol says she only sees flashes.

If that’s true, then why is she looking at her like she used to. Why is Carol looking at her like she had just told her she loved her for the first time.

Carol begins to open her mouth, like she wants to say something to Maria. Before she can, Monica grabs hold of her hand and drags her into the living room, telling her about everything that has happened since Carol last left.

It has become their routine, Carol would stay for a few weeks, then leave for months at a time. Then, Carol stopped staying as long, and her visits were even fewer. 

Maria had thought that she was finally reaching through to Carol, that they were starting to become a family again, but she was wrong. Carol still had that distant look in her eyes, like she didn’t quite understand what was happening.

The night flies by, as it always does when Carol is there. They tuck Monica into bed together and head back downstairs. Usually, after Monica is asleep they drink tea and Carol tells her about what really happened while she was away.

Maria makes them both some tea and they sit at the table. Maria sips her tea as she studies Carol. Carol seems tense, like she was when she first arrived with Fury. 

Carol breaks the silence first, “I don’t think I’ll be able to come back.”

“Why not?” Maria asks, a slight tremor in her voice.

“It seems like every time I leave, I face a tougher opponent. I can’t risk one of them following me and getting to you. If something happened to you or Monica, I don’t know what I’d do. I’ve thought it over, and this is the best way to keep you both safe.”

“Carol, that is a bunch of bullshit.”

Carol, to her credit, looks taken aback by Maria’s statement, but not offended.

“Excuse me, what?”

“I think that’s the stupidest plan I’ve ever heard.”

“I thought you would be on board with this plan if it meant keeping Monica safe.”

Maria rolls her eyes, “I would be on board with this plan if I did think that it would keep Monica safe, but I think it would do her more harm than good.”

“What do you mean?”

“You still don’t get it, do you?”

“Get what?” Carol asks, confusion evident in her tone.

Maria shakes her head and says, “Follow me.”

Maria leads Carol to the back porch and sits on the porch swing. She pats the seat beside her and Carol sits down.

“Every morning, Monica and I would sit out here, drinking green tea, your favorite, waiting for you to come back.”

Carol doesn’t make eye contact so Maria adds, “Carol, we were waiting for you to come home,” Carol looks up at that and Maria continues, “For six years we waited. We missed you every single day, that never faded. We still miss you when you leave, but it hurts less knowing that you’ll be back. You can’t not come back, Carol. That would devastate her. It would devastate me.”

Carol takes a deep breath and says, “There is another reason I thought that maybe I shouldn’t come back.”

“What is it?”

“The more time I spend with Monica and you, the more I remember. I remembered something that I used to feel, and I think I’m starting to feel it again.”

Maria grabs a hold of Carol’s hands and says, “It’s okay Carol, I feel it too. There has always been this light inside of you that attracted me.”

Carol shakes her head and says, “I know that it’s not okay to have these feelings, but I can’t stop them. I thought the only way to make them go away would be to leave.”

“Please don’t leave,” Maria says in a hurried whisper, “Please. We can’t lose you again. I don’t think I’ll survive it.”

The tears are clear in Carol’s eyes, but they don’t fall, she won’t let them.

Maria continues, “Carol, Monica is happier, and I can’t take that away from her. As her mother, it is my duty to protect her at all costs. That means keeping you around,” Maria bumps Carol’s shoulder and earns a small smile from the hero.

“Are you sure?”

Carol says the question so tentatively. Carol is a confident person, this she’s always known. Hearing the doubt in her voice makes Maria sit up a little straighter.

“Absolutely, we love you too much to let you go.”

Carol’s eyes flicker up and meet Maria’s. Maria can tell, this is her Carol, at least partly her Carol.

“I love you,” Carol says, a little more sure of herself.

Maria nods and replies, “I love you, too.”

Before she can stop herself, Maria pulls Carol in for a kiss.

It feels like home.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow okay so this is my first Carol/Maria fic! Let me know what you think, it honestly means so much to me


End file.
